The Land of the Painted Caves Download ✓ 109

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The Land of the Painted Caves Download ✓ 109 ✓ In The Land of Painted Caves Jean M Auel brings her ice age epic series Earth’s Children® to an extraordinary conclusion As the story opens Ayla Jondalar and their infant daughter Jonayla are living with the Zelandonii in the Ninth Cave Ayla has been chosen as an acolyte to a spiriIn The Land of Painted Caves Jean M Auel brings her ice age epic series Earth’s Children® to an extraordinary conclusion As the story opens Ayla Jondalar and their infant daughter Jonayla are living with the Zelandonii in the Ninth Cave Ayla has been chosen as an acolyte to a spiritual leader and begins arduous training tasks Whatever obstacles s. I won't go too much into detail as other reviewers have exhaustively explained why this book sucks donkey arse but essentially1 Auel likes to repeat things A lot What I meant to say is that Auel likes to repeat things A lot2 Auel really digs caves No really Ayla spends 23 of the book shuffling through caves peeing in caves knocking the ash off her torch in caves and scrutinizing all of the art in caves What a cavewoman snicker3 Ayla and Jondalar's interactions consist of Why don't you take Jonayla for a while Jondalar I need to go and do something esoteric with Zelandoni that involves lots of celibacy4 Jondalar Okay5 Jondalar thinks about this for a while and says to himself Not okay It turns out he has spent most of the book bonking the shit out of Marona though in secret except since it is a small cave in which they live god we can't get away from the fucking caves here can we everyone knows about their incessant bonking except for naturally Ayla6 Ayla finds out about Jondalar's uasi infidelity we have to remember that although up to this point Jondalar Ayla have been monogamous they nonetheless live in a polyamorous society a week after having miscarried her baby while being called to the Zelandonia via you guessed it herbs She discovers this infidelity by watching Marona slurp on Jondalar's7 Well at least this book went easy on the porn8 Jondalar and Ayla act like lovelorn middle schoolers She hates me He hates me Jonayla cries a lot9 As though Auel realised toward the end what a stinking pile of shit this book is she decided to revive it by making Ayla carry out what consists of an intentional suicide attempt by trying out the Clan roots used by the Clan Mog urs and drinking nearly the entire contents of the bowl after letting Zelandoni have the tiniest of sips Ayla nearly dies and is called back to life by a contrite and suddenly passionately loving Jondalar10 Ayla reveals to this cave dwelling society that it isn't spirits that make babies it's sex Good old fashioned sex Which is ironic since we don't see a lot of sex in this book11 The Goddess society is now on the decline thanks to Ayla and her goddamned interfering12 This book contradicts a lot of what is said in earlier books especially in Shelters of Stone in that book Ayla asks Jondalar what datura is called in Zelandoni and he answers Foxglove In this book Ayla has absolutely no idea what the plant is called in Zelandoni and has to describe it to Zelandoni who has never seen the plant which leads one to wonder how the hell a Zelandoni word for it ever existed in the first place13 There is no character development Ever At allImportant Note You will cry once you've shlogged through your fortieth cave complete with exhaustive descriptions of the cave's art and its physical structure and you find that you still have forty caves for Ayla to exploreOh and I have to warn you that you might just laugh until you cry when Jondalar beats the shit out of Laramar who is bonking Ayla at a Mother Festival while screaming in a high pitched falsetto He's making my baby You see Ayla has just announced prior to the Mother Festival great timing naturally since I'm sure all the guys will be wanting their women to conceive by other dudes that men's essence creates babies So perhaps this pile of shit was worth digging through just so we could hear Jondalar screaming He's making my babyAll in all drivel Complete drivel It's as though Auel looked at her body of work thus far realised she still had to write one last book said DAMN to herself and told the characters Frankly my cavepeople I don't give a damn and proceeded to write plastic people who could have substituted for one another without any of our noticing

Jean M. Auel Ì 9 Free download

He faces Ayla finds inventive ways to lessen the difficulties of daily life searching for wild edibles to make meals and experimenting with techniues to ease the long journeys the Zelandonii must take while honing her skills as a healer and a leader And there are the Sacred Caves that Ayla’s mentor takes her to see They are filled with remarkable. I can save you the trouble of attempting to plough through Ms Auel's Potteresue doorstop in a few easy sentencesview spoiler1 Ayla who has become increasingly superpowered with each book is described in the first chapter as having been born with heightened acuity in all her senses but not realising just how uniue she is Why didn't we know about this before And what about the detailed descriptions in Clan of the Cave Bear of how Ayla had to work hard to learn all these skills because she didn't have inborn knowledge Wouldn't her years of hunting practise heighten her acuity Is Auel just making up things as she nah couldn't be2 Ayla continues to work as a healer and takes Zelandoni lessons3 Note to Auel When you are writing the verses to chants or songs in another language especially sacred ones do not I repeat do not try to make the words rhyme in English No matter how compelling or beautiful the original you'll end up with fourth form tyro drivel3 Ayla explores a lot of caves with beautiful wall art like visiting a lot of museums Along the way she accidentally discovers evidence that one of her fellow Zelandoni apprentices has been cheating on his OWLs The poor guy gets kicked out and told to study a craft or something 3a I like this so much that I'm going to uote from it We have foreshadowing multiple times that something bad is going to happen to Ayla particularly that a band of evil bad rapist men are going to kidnap her and drag her off But no They grab her and Jondalar somehow miraculously goes from in front of the evil band of rapist men to behind them breaks the leather thong assisted choke hold the dude has on Ayla and saves her from them Then the Zelandoni beat them to death in an instance of mob justice Well At least something sort of happened4 Ayla gets pregnant again but loses the baby She and what's his name have another breakup He goes off and does it with his old girlfriend who has always had it in for Ayla Ayla goes off and does it with someone else during a festival where it is proper to do it with anyone you like What you may call it becomes very annoyed especially since he now believes that sex makes babies and delivers a terrific beating to the party in uestion meanwhile bellowing He's making MY babies which doesn't even make sense Blame it all on the barma I suppose I was actually hoping that the two of them would end up mating with other people so that there would be at least a bit of a surprise Nothing doing5 Surprise Sex makes babies The people accept this and coin the word fa ther etymology as follows Fa in Zelandoni means to do with men and there is a fa lodge where fellas hang out and scratch burp watch football drink barma c Fair enough However the priestess also says that fa ther comes from combining the words far mother together The man is the child's far mother or fa ther Huh Don't they speak Zelandoni or something6 Ayla understandably upset by everything that's happened makes herself a bowl of the sacred Clan medicine gives a taste to the Reverend Mother and drinks the rest herself She sees that she has wrecked the entire Mother Goddess religion and early Cro Magnon culture with her insights about men's essence thereby creating internal combustion engines airplanes freeways Jersey Shore and the Bush Administration 7 Ayla is near death from excessive ingestion but what's his name comes back and saves her Fade out on them swimming in the river happily ever afterAnnoyingly enough we never learn Ayla's real name what happened to Durc or who her people were The original mystery the thing that kept us reading has just gone off into endless repetition of non essential details hide spoiler

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The Land of the Painted CavesPaintings of mammoths lions and bears and their mystical aura at times overwhelms Ayla But all the time Ayala has spent in training rituals has caused Jondalar to drift away from her The rituals themselves bring her close to death but through them Ayla gains A Gift of Knowledge so important that it will change her world from the product page at BNco. I loved these books as a kid It's been a looong time since I read one though Now I'm 40% of the way through this one complete with Part One If you've read her previous books you could probably skip part one and just go straight to Part Two unless you wanted to read and reread and reread all the major points of the previous books just for fun Key points you will enjoy being beaten over the head with 1 Ayla has an accent Everyone notices Sometimes than once 2 Wolves they are social creatures They like children Because they're social creatures3 There are caves They have paintings in them Please enjoy this tour of every single cave and every single painting in every single cave Hey I know let's discuss them in our strange accent With a wolf I couldn't finish it